Given the elbow
No, panic not readers, I have not been given the sack.
What I want to talk about here is mobile phone users (particularly those in the Soho area of London, although I'm sure this applies wherever people use mobile phones).
It's not about ringtones (although who thought these gave people individuality was wrong, it simply marks them out as a sad wanker in my opinion, especially if they are older than 12 and have that annoying crazy frog tone); it's about the inability of people to stop still in one place and talk.
Why the need to walk about?
There is a good reason for this rant. I was walking to the coffee shop on my lunch and this person was standing on the pavement with his mobile phone clamped to his ear. His elbow was pointing straight out (as you'd expect). Without even looking he turned into my path and caught me full in the face with said elbow.
Did he apologise?
Did he f**k. He looked at me as if I was in the wrong. I'm afraid to say, dear reader, that my indignation was running high.
I called him by his rightful name (wanker) and moved off. But, that wasn't enough for him, oh no. He pursued me and, judging by his red face he was either unfit or angry. I'd plump for the latter.
He berated me for calling him a wanker and had a right go. He hadn't even hung up his phone so whoever he was speaking to could hear everything.
Calmly, I told him that elbowing people in the face deserves, at the very least, an apology. He didn't seem to understand. I suggested that perhaps I should elbow him in the face and see whether he agreed that an apology was due, but he proceeded to keep calling me a series of expletives.
So, I did what only a sensible person would. I knocked the phone from his hand and into the street. I then called him a number of expletives and walked away. Last I saw, he was trying to stop a taxi from running over his phone.
So, as a warning to other mobile phone users. Stand still. Please. Because, if I see you coming at me with elbows raised, I won't be held responsible for my actions.
purplesimon out...
1 comment:
I can see what you're saying, but...
He knew I hadn't run into his elbow! However, the reason I was so peeved by his actions stemmed from the fact that he never even acknowledged the contact between my face and his elbow.
He would've been able to tell that I was slightly annoyed. Had he done the decent (and very British) thing of saying sorry, I would have reacted differently. However, his face said to me: watch where you're going, mate.
That's what made me lose it.
Normally, in these situations, I tend to walk away, no problems. I mean, no harm had really come to anyone.
On this occasion, his incredulity simply infuriated me. Maybe calling him a wanker was the catalyst for his reaction, but anyone who has walked down Oxford Street knows that bumping into people is part and parcel of London-living.
He seemed to think he had rights to the whole pavement and he did step in front of me, not the other way around.
If nothing else, my vitriol will provide a good discussion for readers all over the world as to the merits of mobile phones and those that use them.
Post a Comment