Case Solved

"All I can hear is oohs and aahs, Unc."

"That's coz they're fucking each other, you stupid twat. That's why we're 'ere. We need evidence, don't we? Sometimes I wonder what the fuck it is that you're doing 'ere. Gimme those headphones. Muppet.

Julian duly handed over the headphones, his bottom lip quivering slightly. He didn't like upsetting his Uncle Freddie this much, but he hated it when he shouted at him. He hated being cooped up in the back of a van even less, unfortunately it was all part of the job: private detective.

Uncle Freddie was listening intently; Julian wondered what he could be listening to, as all he'd heard was the grunts of what Uncle Freddie termed as 'dirty sex'. The thought made Julian's cock harden with blood. He sat down to disguise it, praying it would go away. Julian didn't know a lot about sex. What he did know was that he wanted to try it.

"Ssssssshhhhhhhhhh!" Uncle Freddie loved to make that sound, even if there was no noise whatsoever. "Right, get the fucking camera, they're oblivious to anyfing and we needs the shots. C'mon, you fucking twat. NOW!"

Julian jumped, his head connected with the metal roof of the van, sending out a dull clang. He was about to let out a cuss, but Julian bit his tongue as he recalled the last time he'd sworn in Uncle Freddie's company. His eye had been swollen for a week. He twisted about, looking everywhere for the camera. He spied it under the front seat and reached forward to collect it. Uncle Freddie was tutting and shaking his head. Julian grabbed the camera as Uncle Freddie swung open the rear door of the van and helpfully pushed him out into the night.

Ladder's on the fucking roof," Uncle Freddie said as he slammed the door shut.

Julian pulled the ladder down, trying hard to make as little sound as possible. The door to the van opened again.

"Don't fergit to take the fucking cap off the lens, awright?" And then Uncle Freddie was gone again.

Julian began to move off towards the imposing Victorian house in front of him. As he moved away he could hear Uncle Freddie talking to himself, a squelching sound of wet flesh coming from the van. Julian didn't really want to take the photos, but he knew from experience that interrupting Uncle Freddie while he was "taking notes" in the van was a bad thing to do. His eye had taken two weeks and he'd needed stitches in his lips. Uncle Freddie had also warned him not to mention that his trousers had fallen down, else Julian might find he went to hospital for a lot longer.

He struggled across the lawn, the ladder in one hand and the camera slung over his shoulder. It was moonlight and it cast a silver sheen across the landscaped gardens. There were many shadows across the front of the house and Julian moved towards them. He placed the ladder against the house and carefully increased its length until it sat just beneath the window sill. Julian tested his weight on the bottom rung.

Confident that the ladder would take his weight, Julian began to climb. His palms sweated as he climbed. Would he get to see real sex? Would he see a naked woman, breasts and everything? Julian hoped so. He wished that Uncle Freddie would let him get them developed, then he could look at the photos before he handed them over. He might even be able to steal one, although Uncle Freddie would probably go ballistic and kill Julian. He'd get copies made instead.

As he climbed up, Julian noticed that the window was open a fraction. He could hear the moans of pleasure clearly as he made his way up the ladder. His palms got really sweaty and he had to stop to dry them on his jeans. Wow, he thought, no one will believe this at school. His hands were shaking as he pulled the lens cap off the camera. It was already set, ready to shoot; so was Julian.

He was crouching close to the top of the ladder, poised. Using his legs, he pushed himself over the window sill and looked through the viewfinder. Julian was transfixed for a number of seconds. He could see a man and a woman on a bed. He was on top. They seemed to be hurting each other. Julian wasn't sure what was happening - it certainly didn't look nice to him. His eyes glazed over a little as the woman moved her arm and he saw her breast clearly, her nipple glistening with the man's spit. Oh my God, Julian said to himself, this is my dream come true.

He took the camera and began to take photos of the couple. Even though he hadn't liked what he'd seen, Julian found himself excited by the images he was shooting. A thought flashed through his head: now I know what Uncle Freddie is doing! He smiled, taking some last shots before deciding he'd had enough.

Just as he was putting the lens cover back on, the woman turned her head towards Julian. She saw him and screamed. Julian looked up, straight into the face of the couple.

"Fucking Hell, it's Aunt Gloria," he said

Julian heard the thump from the van as the roof connected with Uncle Freddie's head.