The last night out

I feel the
pulse pulse pulse pulse
of the dancefloor, watch the lights swirl and sparkle, catching
glints in eyes and the tall glasses filled with coloured liquids.
Held tightly in hands. Fingers wrapped.
I smile, watch bodies jerk backward and forward in time with the beat.
I smile and watch.
The floor of the nightclub is packed with people sweating profusely.
I sip water and smile.
Larger men roam, carefully moving past the dancing hoards, floating through the area like icebergs, silent and cold, waving hands in front of their face to clear fog of cigarette smoke and dry ice, noticing everything around them, every nuance, every
nod wink raised finger.
I smile and watch.
I spy a friend, John, pushing his way to the bar, a note held aloft. He's waving to attract the barman's attention. He is shouting, grimacing and he looks menacing. People move out of his way. A modern day Moses. He is served, money exchanged, pints in hand, he smiles as he excuses his way through the throng of sweaty bodies. He takes a chance
casts a glance to me.
I smile and watch. I don't raise
my hand
I don't want to attract attention, which is why I sent John down with the
money. To the bar. To get the drinks in.
I feel his presence behind me and I turn.
Cool, he says, passing me a pint glass, the top centimetre of liquid missing
spilled on the floor and on his shirt. He doesn't notice. The pill
has made him unaware of such things.
I smile and take the glass, spilling more on the floor as I do so.
I drink, a large gulp.
Swallow, drink, swallow, drink.
Swallow.
And then I turn. I smile and watch.
There is a group of young girls, barely old enough to be eligible to get through the door, to get into the club. Perhaps they know the man-mountain on the door? Maybe they were nice to him?
I don't care. I smile and I watch.
They dance, not caring who sees them. Their inhibitions have been cast away. One of the girls reaches into her bag, rummages.
Comes out with nothing. Shakes her head. Taps her friend on the shoulder.
I see friend shake her head, too. Hands held out, palms up. Shrug.
They both look around. I smile and I watch.
When they look directly at me, I nod my head. One points. The other pulls her friend's hand down, says no. She is discreet. She has chosen me. I nod again, a signal to
approach me.
I feel the pulse of the dancefloor.
I smile and I watch.
John says, here we go and I turn to
see them standing no more than two feet away.
Discreet leans in, says, what ya got?
I lean in, say, whatever you need.
I smile.
I wait.
I watch.
Inevitable question: how much?
This ones on me, I say. I smile again. She grins. Says
thanks mate, let me get you a beer then?
I nod. She leaves, her friend still stands there. She smiles at John.
He says hello, looks at his feet.
I pass her a pill. John says he'll pay. I take his money.
Discreet comes back, passes me a bottle of beer. I exchange it
for a pill. She kisses my cheek
whispers
Thank you again.
I turn around. I smile and watch.
I feel the pulse of the dancefloor.
I pour my beer down behind the seat. I don't like to get out of
control too often. Tonight I want to be able to remember.
I turn back to the girl, smile and ask her name.
Cheryl, she says.
Lovely name, I say. It's the name of my aunt. I lie.
She blushes.
I always liked my aunt. I smile. She blushes
again.
Do you want to go somewhere quieter? I ask.
I know the pill is working. She nods her head. I know the pill
is working.
Agreement.
Somewhere much quieter, she leans against me, her pert breasts pushing into my arm
I can feel how erect her nipples are. The pill
is working.
We leave. John is kissing her friend. They will be happy - will wake tomorrow,
possibly with regrets, possibly not. But they will be happy. I turn as we get to the dancefloor. I can feel its pulse.
I smile and watch.
We exit the club. I have to hold the girl up. Cheryl. Discreet little Cheryl. Lovely name.
The pill is working.
My car is parked behind the club, in shadows. Cheryl's body drops easily into the passenger seat.
Let me get you home, I say.
Somewhere quieter, she replies. I smile
and watch.
I know somewhere really quiet. I whisper to her. Somewhere we'll never
be disturbed.
Quickly, start the car, drive away.
All night I smile.
And watch.