Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Lottery - Opening Paragraph

“Come on my little beauties,” Roy said as he straightened up, his left hand supporting his lower back, a slight gasp escaping from his tight, puckered mouth as his knees cracked to a locking position. He raised his right hand to shade his face from the sun as he admired his handiwork: five straight, thick-as-your-arm cucumbers sat in front of him. They were nestled in rich, dark soil and glistened in the midday sunshine that spilled through the open slats of the greenhouse roof.

2 comments:

purplesime said...

This is part of a much longer piece that might get posted here, but I still haven't got this first paragraph exactly right. It needs more.

Anyway, it's something posted for May.

Anonymous said...

Yes it needs more. More sentences. More story. :) More.

Hey, just reading this paragraph, I was interested enough to want more.