Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I've been tagged once more

Ian lay in the long grass, his eyes scanning the battlefield spread out below. He let his breath become shallow, so as not to attract the attention of the his family's enemies, the marauding armies that had stained the earth with the blood of Ian's relatives.

But, it was too late. He felt his shirt seized by a strong hand, hauling him to his feet in one swift movement.

"Come with me." That's all the voice said, preferring to remain silent as it's owner frogmarched Ian towards the battle tents. Once inside the cool atmosphere of the main tent, Ian was seated at a desk, a piece of paper in front of him. A pen was thrust into his hand, the paper turned over.

"We need to know everything about you, so that you and your family may be crushed by our forces," the mysterious voice instructed. Even though it would bring about his demise, Ian didn't hesitate in answering the questions laid out before him.

I have a combination of British accents, ranging from the South London twang to the Dorset farmer. These have come about through living in a variety of UK regions over the past 33 years.

Booze of choice?
Asahi beer.

Chore I hate?
Vacuuming, that's why I employ a cleaner.

Dog or Cat?
Cat. Dogs require walking and I'm inherently lazy.

Essential Electronics?
Lights. Everything else I could learn to live without.

Favourite perfume/cologne?
Anything by Jean Paul Gaultier.

Gold or Silver?
White Gold (that's what my wedding ring is made of). If it wasn't so expensive, it would have been platinum. It's the only jewellery I wear.

Albury, Surrey.

I used to dabble in sleep deprivation techniques and other mad things like that. Since I gave up (read: got a proper job) I have managed to sleep for at least 5 hours a night, although I'd prefer to sleep for 10.

Job Title?
Creative copywriter


Living Arrangement?
Married (recently). Live in two-bedroom house with wife and cat.

Most Admired Trait?
The ability to know someone for almost every possible need. Also, people love that I can spark conversation with anyone, whether I know them or not.

Number of Sexual Partners?
Just one now, but I've had about 14 in total.

Overnight Hospital Stays?
None since I was seven. I used to spend quite a bit of time in hospital to correct eye problems.

Not being liked.

Anything by Oscar Wilde.

It's the root of all evil. I try to live my life in the way that upsets as few people as possible.

Older brother.

Time I wake up?
Without fail, I always wake up 5 hours after I went to sleep, regardless of what time that was. This morning that meant 5am. I didn't get out of bed until 7am.

Unusual talent/skill?
None I know of.

Vegetable I refuse to eat?
I'm a vegetarian, but I still hate courgettes and marrows.

Worst Habit?

None. Never. Ever.

Yummy foods I make?
As a trained baker and chef I can create anything. However, my bread has won international prizes, so I guess that would be it.

Zodiac sign?

As soon as Ian finished writing a knife was pressed to his throat.

His shallow grave was never discovered.


purplesimon said...

This was a quick post as I was tagged by Chris over at Spontaneous Fiction while away on honeymoon.

Readers of my other work will be pleased to know that I found some time to jot down some ideas and I will be writing some new stories soon.

First, I need to try and get some work to pay the bills.

purplesimon out...

Tanya said...

Hi Simon - welcome back and happy married life!!

Hope both you and A are well! You've been in my thoughts.


Kat said...

Welcome back! I look forward to your stories.

Raynwomaan said...

I'm a bit late with the welcome, but glad you're back. Hope you had a lovely honeymoon, and that married life is suiting you.

As usual, you did a marvellous job of turning your tag into a cool piece of fiction.