Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Counting on my friends

I can count my friends on the fingers of one hand. I’m not unpopular; it’s just that I have a tendency to kill my friends. Not murder, you understand. It’s usually an accident that takes them away from me. I seem to invite bad luck into my life like some people invite trusted colleagues round for dinner parties – fairly regularly.

Consequently, word gets around and I find that friends soon become acquaintances and then distant acquaintances and soon enough they are strangers. Except they’re not.

They can’t act like real strangers, since they know about me; they know about my record with those that choose to get close to me. They know about the dark force that follows me around like a shadow. They become clairvoyant. They believe they can tell when death will come to collect them, to harvest them.

I am the bad apple in the barrel. It’s the drugs or it’s the voices; it’s the drink or it’s any number of vices that I have: drink driving, sword fighting while high on crystal meth, etc. The list goes on. Often I blackout and I don’t know what happens. The cops just shake their heads. There is no proof, no fingerprints: no evidence.

That’s why I’m writing to you. I’m looking for new friends.

Could that be you? Is it within the realms of possibility that someone can befriend me and not… I can’t bring myself to say it.

If you think you can help me, please write to me. Please come and visit. You’ll be perfectly safe here. I take care of visitors. It’s just that they don’t seem to take care of themselves.

3 comments:

purplesime said...

The first post of 2006.

Came from someone saying to me: I can count my friends on the fingers of one hand. I used this as a starting point.

I didn't know where to take it, so I stopped here. I am supposed to be working, so it couldn't be a long one.

Promise more soon, honest!

purplesimon out...

Chris said...

Sweet. Those are some of the most fun stories to write. The ones that start with an innocuous phrase.

Loved it!

Kat said...

Wicked. I like it!